I'm sure there are many of you waiting for an adoption update, but it's not October yet, see? ;)
Well, here's a little bit to tide you over. :) We finished all of our home study visits, got fingerprinted (it's a good thing they do digital prints now or my fingers might be permanently ink-stained from the number of times we've done this) to make sure we haven't committed any felonies since December, got employment letters, proof of insurance letters, state background DFS checks, and copies of all of the boys' paperwork from their adoption. Our social worker is waiting on our fingerprints (we should have those this week) and our references (which she will hopefully have this week as well). Next step would be a referral (keep in mind this is all different for Ukraine, but we're not looking at Ukraine right now)...
But since it is an international adoption and we can't have those without snags, we recently found out that the referral we were hoping to get may no longer be available. This most likely means that someone from another country (not the US) has gone to do a preview visit of this referral. We are supposed to know in the next couple of weeks where everything stands. Please pray that we will have patience and wisdom for this. It is a little bit (okay, that's a total lie--it's a lot) frustrating to be starting all of this again with no where to go. But we recognize that God brought us to this point and had us start again now, so we're running with it strictly on faith. Quite frankly, God has given us several things right now (adoption and otherwise) that He seems to be wanting us to move forward with, and we're a little overwhelmed! But if God has given it, He will provide. And if He hasn't, we continue to pray that the doors will be shut quickly and soundly. ;) We have found God to be very faithful in closing doors when we request that as a sign of direction. :) :)
I'll do my best to keep you posted, but I don't know when we'll know anything so you may not hear anything on the adoption front for awhile.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Life in the fast lane
Yesterday was my company "Day at the Zoo." We had free passes to everything at the zoo, and you can bet we took advantage of that!
We went to church in the morning and then went to the company-provided lunch at the zoo. We didn't really see many animals this time (although we did get to see the baby Amur tiger cubs and watch them play!) but we spent all of our time doing the things we normally don't do because there's a charge. We went on the train (many, many times), rode the carousel, saw the sea lion show, and went on two simulators.
That's where the day was interesting.
The boys have never been on any rides of any sort with us. We had talked about taking them to Six Flags this summer but it just didn't work out. They're still too little for a lot of the rides so it wasn't a big deal not to go, and they don't know what they're missing. :) But our passes to the zoo yesterday included rides in two simulators, and we thought this would be a great opportunity to try the boys out on them. I'm laughing just thinking about it.
I was mainly nervous not for the "ride" part but because we didn't know the content of the movies; i.e., how scary they would be. And while most 5 and 6 year olds might not be scared, our boys have been exposed to a lot less Western culture (unlike the 4 year old in Zhenya's preschool class who has seen "Hellboy." Don't these children have parents?!?) and since they haven't seen much TV I'm not sure how well they distinguish between fantasy and reality. But we opted to go for it and since the chairs are set up in pairs Mark rode with Dima and Zhenya rode with me. The first one we went on was an "Extreme Log Ride."
They loved it. LOVED it.
The second simulator was a dinosaur movie--sort of. It had dinosaurs in it, for all of maybe one minute of the 5 minutes in the simulator. The boys also liked that one, but it was 3D and I don't think they liked the dinosaurs coming at them as much as they liked the log ride. :) But neither of them seemed to think it was scary. We were careful not to prep them to think it was scary. I did prep them before the log ride and reminded them that everything in the movie was pretend, but I didn't mention anything about "not being afraid" because we didn't want them to think there was something to be afraid of. Did you follow that circular reasoning? ;)
Both of them slept well last night and got plenty of sleep but we'll see how they do today. It was a long day yesterday and that tends to mean we start the week off rough.
Oh, and it may be awhile before I post more pictures. Our camera's been having issues for several weeks and we're returning it this week and hopefully getting a new one.
We went to church in the morning and then went to the company-provided lunch at the zoo. We didn't really see many animals this time (although we did get to see the baby Amur tiger cubs and watch them play!) but we spent all of our time doing the things we normally don't do because there's a charge. We went on the train (many, many times), rode the carousel, saw the sea lion show, and went on two simulators.
That's where the day was interesting.
The boys have never been on any rides of any sort with us. We had talked about taking them to Six Flags this summer but it just didn't work out. They're still too little for a lot of the rides so it wasn't a big deal not to go, and they don't know what they're missing. :) But our passes to the zoo yesterday included rides in two simulators, and we thought this would be a great opportunity to try the boys out on them. I'm laughing just thinking about it.
I was mainly nervous not for the "ride" part but because we didn't know the content of the movies; i.e., how scary they would be. And while most 5 and 6 year olds might not be scared, our boys have been exposed to a lot less Western culture (unlike the 4 year old in Zhenya's preschool class who has seen "Hellboy." Don't these children have parents?!?) and since they haven't seen much TV I'm not sure how well they distinguish between fantasy and reality. But we opted to go for it and since the chairs are set up in pairs Mark rode with Dima and Zhenya rode with me. The first one we went on was an "Extreme Log Ride."
They loved it. LOVED it.
The second simulator was a dinosaur movie--sort of. It had dinosaurs in it, for all of maybe one minute of the 5 minutes in the simulator. The boys also liked that one, but it was 3D and I don't think they liked the dinosaurs coming at them as much as they liked the log ride. :) But neither of them seemed to think it was scary. We were careful not to prep them to think it was scary. I did prep them before the log ride and reminded them that everything in the movie was pretend, but I didn't mention anything about "not being afraid" because we didn't want them to think there was something to be afraid of. Did you follow that circular reasoning? ;)
Both of them slept well last night and got plenty of sleep but we'll see how they do today. It was a long day yesterday and that tends to mean we start the week off rough.
Oh, and it may be awhile before I post more pictures. Our camera's been having issues for several weeks and we're returning it this week and hopefully getting a new one.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Why? Why? Why?
We joke that our boys have officially hit 3 years old, because we hear "why?" all the time. And I do mean all the time. But realistically, they never went through this stage (somehow I think a dozen three-year-olds asking "why?" all the time in the orphanage is discouraged) and now they have the opportunity to ask questions and get answers.
They really like the asking questions part. LOL
When we first met the boys--even before we met them--our biggest concern was with Dima and his development. He didn't have any indicators of FAS, but there was just so much we didn't know. And what we were told was not particularly encouraging in regards to his motor skills--or any other skills for that matter. But when we were introduced to him that day in the director's office, both Mark and I watched him closely. Although he was scared, he responded appropriately every time something happened. If he heard a noise out the window, he turned and looked. If someone entered the room, he would look up to see what was going on. When he was standing next to the director and she was having a conversation with the social worker, he watched back and forth between the two of them. We could tell that whatever delays he had, his mind was intact and working very well. Any potential concerns we had about his brain have been laid to rest many times over.
Monday night at dinner the boys and I were talking about siblings--specifically going over that they are brothers, mama has a sister, papa has a brother and two sisters, etc.--to work on understanding family relationships.
Z: "Who next brother?"
"What?"
Z: "Who next brother?"
D: "Next brother. Base ball."
"Oh, Nick's sister is Laura." (Nick and Laura are the children of one of the other players on Mark's base ball team, and the kids all play together at the games.)
D (pointing at his fingers): "Mama, eyes!"
"What?" (I say this a lot. :))
D (still pointing at his fingers): "Mama, eyes! Nick eyes base ball!"
"Oh, yes, Nick had ice on his fingers when he was stung by a bee."
...four weeks ago!!
Dima has one of the most amazing memories, both short- and long-term. He can pull things out that I didn't even realize he noticed, or that I would have thought he would remember.
They really like the asking questions part. LOL
When we first met the boys--even before we met them--our biggest concern was with Dima and his development. He didn't have any indicators of FAS, but there was just so much we didn't know. And what we were told was not particularly encouraging in regards to his motor skills--or any other skills for that matter. But when we were introduced to him that day in the director's office, both Mark and I watched him closely. Although he was scared, he responded appropriately every time something happened. If he heard a noise out the window, he turned and looked. If someone entered the room, he would look up to see what was going on. When he was standing next to the director and she was having a conversation with the social worker, he watched back and forth between the two of them. We could tell that whatever delays he had, his mind was intact and working very well. Any potential concerns we had about his brain have been laid to rest many times over.
Monday night at dinner the boys and I were talking about siblings--specifically going over that they are brothers, mama has a sister, papa has a brother and two sisters, etc.--to work on understanding family relationships.
Z: "Who next brother?"
"What?"
Z: "Who next brother?"
D: "Next brother. Base ball."
"Oh, Nick's sister is Laura." (Nick and Laura are the children of one of the other players on Mark's base ball team, and the kids all play together at the games.)
D (pointing at his fingers): "Mama, eyes!"
"What?" (I say this a lot. :))
D (still pointing at his fingers): "Mama, eyes! Nick eyes base ball!"
"Oh, yes, Nick had ice on his fingers when he was stung by a bee."
...four weeks ago!!
Dima has one of the most amazing memories, both short- and long-term. He can pull things out that I didn't even realize he noticed, or that I would have thought he would remember.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Nine months home today
We arrived home on Dec 24, 2007. We had arrived in the States on the 22nd, but drove home from NYC.
And...?
We've made some significant progress! I was looking through my blog photos on Flickr and came across the ones we posted while the boys were still in the orphanage. They look so tiny! I just want to scoop them up and hold them! The weird thing is they haven't really grown much. Still right about 30 lbs each, although they have gotten taller. But they look so much different now--like little boys instead of babies.
There are times that I wish we were in a different place in life. Maybe living out on some land, in a bit more rural area (but still close to a big city--I need my culture fix and a major airport! ;)) doing life a little bit differently. But I also realize that if we were in that place, we would not have access to the same resources that we have here, and which the boys (Dima in particular) really need right now to help them catch up. So I am doing my best to be content with where God has placed us now, knowing that His plan and purpose for our family extends far beyond what I can see or imagine.
And...?
We've made some significant progress! I was looking through my blog photos on Flickr and came across the ones we posted while the boys were still in the orphanage. They look so tiny! I just want to scoop them up and hold them! The weird thing is they haven't really grown much. Still right about 30 lbs each, although they have gotten taller. But they look so much different now--like little boys instead of babies.
There are times that I wish we were in a different place in life. Maybe living out on some land, in a bit more rural area (but still close to a big city--I need my culture fix and a major airport! ;)) doing life a little bit differently. But I also realize that if we were in that place, we would not have access to the same resources that we have here, and which the boys (Dima in particular) really need right now to help them catch up. So I am doing my best to be content with where God has placed us now, knowing that His plan and purpose for our family extends far beyond what I can see or imagine.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
I have knots in my stomach
I am a lot more nervous about this adoption than the last one. Either that, or I've forgotten what it felt like the first time around (it did take awhile...). We have our last homestudy visit today, and I'm downright near panicked. Which for me means I'm sitting here biting my fingernails (at least if I'm typing I'm using both hands and not biting my fingernails). I'm a pretty low-key person, so my version of panicking probably looks like most people's idea of watching something interesting on TV. ;)
You'd think it would be easier the second time around. Our social worker most likely hit the nail on the head when she said "well, you adopted from Ukraine last time, so everything's going to seem like a piece of cake and you're always going to be feeling like you're forgetting something this time." Indeed. What do you mean I don't need documents dated within the last month? Any certified marriage certificate will do? Really? You mean once they're certified they're good forever? (Not in Ukraine, by the way.)
This is just a completely different experience, and we're not really into the thick of it yet. But I do have a feeling that I'm going to be feeling like I'm missing out on a lot. For a brief period we thought we might not even need to redo our medicals! Yeah, I nearly passed out too! But then we found out that they do need to be done within the last year (it's within 2 years for the homestudy) so we just missed it--our medicals were done last July. But if I'm getting everything correctly, these medicals are not nearly as involved. Hence why I keep thinking I must be missing something. :) International adoption dossiers can't really be this straightforward, can they?
And yes, you can guarantee that we're going to have a bear of a time putting our dossier together after I post that last sentence.
I hope it doesn't sound like I'm bitter about our Ukraine adoption, because I'm not at all. I enjoyed the experience and I certainly learned a lot from it. But they definitely don't make it easy to put that dossier together correctly...for the third--or fourth...or fifth--time.
You'd think it would be easier the second time around. Our social worker most likely hit the nail on the head when she said "well, you adopted from Ukraine last time, so everything's going to seem like a piece of cake and you're always going to be feeling like you're forgetting something this time." Indeed. What do you mean I don't need documents dated within the last month? Any certified marriage certificate will do? Really? You mean once they're certified they're good forever? (Not in Ukraine, by the way.)
This is just a completely different experience, and we're not really into the thick of it yet. But I do have a feeling that I'm going to be feeling like I'm missing out on a lot. For a brief period we thought we might not even need to redo our medicals! Yeah, I nearly passed out too! But then we found out that they do need to be done within the last year (it's within 2 years for the homestudy) so we just missed it--our medicals were done last July. But if I'm getting everything correctly, these medicals are not nearly as involved. Hence why I keep thinking I must be missing something. :) International adoption dossiers can't really be this straightforward, can they?
And yes, you can guarantee that we're going to have a bear of a time putting our dossier together after I post that last sentence.
I hope it doesn't sound like I'm bitter about our Ukraine adoption, because I'm not at all. I enjoyed the experience and I certainly learned a lot from it. But they definitely don't make it easy to put that dossier together correctly...for the third--or fourth...or fifth--time.
Monday, September 22, 2008
The rest of the weekend
Emphasis on "rest." ;)
Because of how tired they've been, and the fact that we kept them out late Friday night, I opted not to take the boys to Mark's base ball game on Saturday. It was about an hour away and we wouldn't have been able to just run home if we'd needed to, so I felt it was better to take it easy at home and recuperate for the next week of school. We played and hung out and just had fun at home, but after lunch I really thought it would be good for the boys to have a little quiet time to unwind. I really didn't intend for them to sleep, so I thought instead of doing an actual rest time I would put an audiobook on the stereo and they could lay on their beds and listen. Ahem.
I'm not sure they made it past the title.
They were asleep in minutes and I was really glad we'd had our little quiet time because obviously they needed it. :) They got up a little later and we had a pretty good evening. Sunday was pretty much more of the same, and we did story time again. I think they made it past the title but definitely not past the first chapter. Sunday evening they "helped" unload some wood Mark had picked up for the other house. These were 10' boards, and the boys each got an end and carried it into the house. I'm very thankful we don't have anything to break in there right now--it was quite the comedy to watch them carry the boards up the steps and try to maneuver it into the house. They're not acquainted with the concept of working with a person on the other end of a 10' board, so it took them a little while to understand that they had to WORK TOGETHER to get the board inside. It was hilarious, and they had a great time. They did say it was "a lot of work", so I'm a little concerned as to what they're going to think when we have them start helping with the framing. LOL
Sunday night Dima had to finish some homework. I cannot even begin to express how much I was dreading this. It was writing, and he struggles with this big time. We had spent quite a bit of time on this worksheet already and had NOT had a good time of it. We have a clear dry erase Crayola board that I can slide the worksheets into and he can practice before he writes with the pencil, which is really nice since I'm no longer erasing holes into his paper. This particular paper was writing the lower-case vowels. We had worked on it on Thursday, and the "u" had NOT gone well. So when we went back to it last night, I had him start with all of the other vowels that I know he can do and which are similar--"o", then "a", then "e" (he'd already finished the "i"). We had minimal erasing, which was super exciting, but I was still dreading the "u".
He did it. Three of them. All by himself, and nearly perfect. I--literally--just stared at him with my mouth open. And then showered him with lots of praise. LOL I don't know if all of the extra rest helped this weekend or what, but for him to be able to write that well at the end of the day was amazing. I'm hoping it carries over into this week. ;)
Because of how tired they've been, and the fact that we kept them out late Friday night, I opted not to take the boys to Mark's base ball game on Saturday. It was about an hour away and we wouldn't have been able to just run home if we'd needed to, so I felt it was better to take it easy at home and recuperate for the next week of school. We played and hung out and just had fun at home, but after lunch I really thought it would be good for the boys to have a little quiet time to unwind. I really didn't intend for them to sleep, so I thought instead of doing an actual rest time I would put an audiobook on the stereo and they could lay on their beds and listen. Ahem.
I'm not sure they made it past the title.
They were asleep in minutes and I was really glad we'd had our little quiet time because obviously they needed it. :) They got up a little later and we had a pretty good evening. Sunday was pretty much more of the same, and we did story time again. I think they made it past the title but definitely not past the first chapter. Sunday evening they "helped" unload some wood Mark had picked up for the other house. These were 10' boards, and the boys each got an end and carried it into the house. I'm very thankful we don't have anything to break in there right now--it was quite the comedy to watch them carry the boards up the steps and try to maneuver it into the house. They're not acquainted with the concept of working with a person on the other end of a 10' board, so it took them a little while to understand that they had to WORK TOGETHER to get the board inside. It was hilarious, and they had a great time. They did say it was "a lot of work", so I'm a little concerned as to what they're going to think when we have them start helping with the framing. LOL
Sunday night Dima had to finish some homework. I cannot even begin to express how much I was dreading this. It was writing, and he struggles with this big time. We had spent quite a bit of time on this worksheet already and had NOT had a good time of it. We have a clear dry erase Crayola board that I can slide the worksheets into and he can practice before he writes with the pencil, which is really nice since I'm no longer erasing holes into his paper. This particular paper was writing the lower-case vowels. We had worked on it on Thursday, and the "u" had NOT gone well. So when we went back to it last night, I had him start with all of the other vowels that I know he can do and which are similar--"o", then "a", then "e" (he'd already finished the "i"). We had minimal erasing, which was super exciting, but I was still dreading the "u".
He did it. Three of them. All by himself, and nearly perfect. I--literally--just stared at him with my mouth open. And then showered him with lots of praise. LOL I don't know if all of the extra rest helped this weekend or what, but for him to be able to write that well at the end of the day was amazing. I'm hoping it carries over into this week. ;)
Sunday, September 21, 2008
So many many things...
When I haven't posted for awhile, I'm always overwhelmed with the amount of things I want to tell you which inevitably means I don't post. ;) It's a vicious cycle.
This past week has been really rough. The boys have been tired. And even though I'm doing my best to get them in bed earlier, it's hard to fit everything in between getting home from school at 3:45 and going to bed at 6:45 (the goal). With dinner, homework, and baths...well, it's just hard. It's hard to balance having the boys experience new and fun things and knowing how much they need to rest and destimulate (I am positive that's not a word) over the weekend.
This summer, the boys got to see fireworks but only from the car as we were driving back to our hotel after a wedding reception in Cincinnati. It was a great experience, because they got to see fireworks but it wasn't overwhelming since they couldn't hear all of the noise and we weren't surrounded by people. But they really sort of missed out on the fireworks experience, you know? Last weekend was the annual Forest Park Balloon Race here in St Louis. It is an experience not to be missed, and we really wanted to take the boys. The balloon race is on Saturday, but the night before they have the Balloon Glow where they fill up all of the balloons at night. It's really pretty and an amazing sight. However, the Balloon Glow doesn't even start until 7pm, and then there was a fireworks show at 9pm. Mark prepped the boys on Friday morning that they would be coming home from school and resting so we could see fireworks that evening (we didn't think they'd understand the balloon part at that point). When we got home from school, we had a quick snack and then I sent them to bed and they slept for 2 hours. Yes, they're that tired when they get home from school. We planned on picking up hot dogs at the park (note to self: $5 per hot dog is a bit extreme--next time eat before we go!) so as soon as Mark got home we headed to the park.
It was already dusk by the time we got to the park, and all of the balloons were filled. The great thing with this race is that for the Balloon Glow you get to walk through and see all of the balloons up close--Zhenya even got to sit in a balloon basket! They liked all of the different colors and Dima loved reading the letters off of all of the balloons. Around 8:30pm, they started deflating the balloons and putting them away, so we found a spot on the balloon field and sat down. The fireworks were perfect for the boys' first fireworks show. They were big enough to be really cool, but not so large and loud as to be overwhelming.
The best part of the evening for me: Dima was sitting in my lap for the fireworks show, and he was completely relaxed. If you remember, when we first got home (and for a few months afterwards) we had a lot of problems with Dima stressing out over anything new. Completely understandable, but it's so amazing to see where he's at now. He leaned back against me and just watched the fireworks and laughed and smiled--so relaxed and comfortable to be out somewhere, doing something completely new, with his mama and papa and brother. I love to see that trust develop--he knows we are not going to take him anywhere that will hurt him, and that we are not going to take him anywhere and leave him (which is really probably the bigger issue for him).
This past week has been really rough. The boys have been tired. And even though I'm doing my best to get them in bed earlier, it's hard to fit everything in between getting home from school at 3:45 and going to bed at 6:45 (the goal). With dinner, homework, and baths...well, it's just hard. It's hard to balance having the boys experience new and fun things and knowing how much they need to rest and destimulate (I am positive that's not a word) over the weekend.
This summer, the boys got to see fireworks but only from the car as we were driving back to our hotel after a wedding reception in Cincinnati. It was a great experience, because they got to see fireworks but it wasn't overwhelming since they couldn't hear all of the noise and we weren't surrounded by people. But they really sort of missed out on the fireworks experience, you know? Last weekend was the annual Forest Park Balloon Race here in St Louis. It is an experience not to be missed, and we really wanted to take the boys. The balloon race is on Saturday, but the night before they have the Balloon Glow where they fill up all of the balloons at night. It's really pretty and an amazing sight. However, the Balloon Glow doesn't even start until 7pm, and then there was a fireworks show at 9pm. Mark prepped the boys on Friday morning that they would be coming home from school and resting so we could see fireworks that evening (we didn't think they'd understand the balloon part at that point). When we got home from school, we had a quick snack and then I sent them to bed and they slept for 2 hours. Yes, they're that tired when they get home from school. We planned on picking up hot dogs at the park (note to self: $5 per hot dog is a bit extreme--next time eat before we go!) so as soon as Mark got home we headed to the park.
It was already dusk by the time we got to the park, and all of the balloons were filled. The great thing with this race is that for the Balloon Glow you get to walk through and see all of the balloons up close--Zhenya even got to sit in a balloon basket! They liked all of the different colors and Dima loved reading the letters off of all of the balloons. Around 8:30pm, they started deflating the balloons and putting them away, so we found a spot on the balloon field and sat down. The fireworks were perfect for the boys' first fireworks show. They were big enough to be really cool, but not so large and loud as to be overwhelming.
The best part of the evening for me: Dima was sitting in my lap for the fireworks show, and he was completely relaxed. If you remember, when we first got home (and for a few months afterwards) we had a lot of problems with Dima stressing out over anything new. Completely understandable, but it's so amazing to see where he's at now. He leaned back against me and just watched the fireworks and laughed and smiled--so relaxed and comfortable to be out somewhere, doing something completely new, with his mama and papa and brother. I love to see that trust develop--he knows we are not going to take him anywhere that will hurt him, and that we are not going to take him anywhere and leave him (which is really probably the bigger issue for him).
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