Flashback

I've started having flashbacks to our time in Ukraine. I don't mean I'm remembering it--I mean I'll be somewhere and something will happen and I'll feel like I'm back in Ukraine again. It's quite a bizarre feeling, although not unpleasant.

I happen to know what some of the triggers are...one day I heard some music that sounded very similar to the Ukrainian discotheque music we listened to every day on the taxi ride to the boys' orphanage. It was about an hour and a half ride each way (which is why we only went once a day) so we listened to A LOT of music. LOL

The biggest trigger has been the weather. It's finally gotten colder here, and I've pulled out my winter coat--the same one I bought for Ukraine and wore every day while we were there. I'll soon be wearing my winter boots that I bought in Ukraine. It's just a little bizarre--like part of me is still there. Of course, I felt this way after the first time we went to Ukraine in 2003. I missed it so much and wanted to go back, but I don't remember having flashbacks.

It makes me wonder if the boys ever have flashbacks. They were there a lot longer than Mark and I--are there things here that trigger memories for them? Is that why so many parents report seeing a change in behavior around the one-year anniversary mark? (We haven't yet, but we've still got a month and a half.)

In the meantime, I'm enjoying my flashbacks and thinking I need to go make some borscht. ;)

A little vent

I vented to Mark about this last night but I'm going to put it on here as well. Maybe some teachers can share some insight. ;)

I've shared previously that we implemented doing homework immediately after school. That seems to be the easiest for both boys and gives them an incentive to get it done since they get to go play when it's finished. Dima's class is working on letters/sounds/phonics right now, so we get a lot of phonics worksheets as well as handwriting. Handwriting is still a struggle (Dima's motor skills are delayed for a 6yo so that makes handwriting more difficult for him) but he's been working hard and is really improving. But I have a beef with the phonics worksheets...

A lot of the phonics worksheets relate to looking at a picture and then identifying the sounds of that word. So, for example, there might be a picture of a hat and the worksheet would want them to circle the initial consonant ("h") or the vowel sound they hear ("a").

Yesterday, his worksheet came home with a picture like this:

Now, what is the first single word that comes to mind when you see this? For me (and Dima), it was "bear." So he knows bear starts with "b" and goes to circle the intial consonant. But wait! His choices are "t", "g", or "m"...

Yeah, it's a "teddy bear". Nevermind that the worksheet last week that had a similar picture wanted him to circle "b" for "bear". Sigh.

The speech evaluation

I just realized that I've forgotten to update you all on the speech eval--sorry about that! :)

Dima had his speech eval on Friday. It was a long 2 hours of focusing on words, and he did a really great job. It was also painfully clear (to me) that he really needs some speech and language help. They also did a hearing test and once again he passed that (his last one was done in January) so I think we're confident that he doesn't have any hearing loss. The summary at the end of the session was "we think he needs speech therapy." Yeah, me too. They have to score all of the tests and then Mark and I will go in and get their complete breakdown of which specific areas Dima needs to work on.

Observations from the eval: We used a center through a local university, and while the testing went fine I don't think we'll be doing therapy there. They use graduate students for the testing and therapy (all supervised by licensed therapists, of course) which was okay for the tests but Dima is really going to need someone with a lot of experience because of the extent of his delays. If we just needed to work on a couple of sounds it would be one thing, but this is going to need to be some pretty comprehensive language therapy. It was really hard for me to sit and watch this, and realize how delayed Dima's language is. Yes, I know he's only been hearing English for 11 months, but some of the tests he should have been able to do without English--they were picture association tests that test comprehension. Those tests were towards the end, so he may have just been tired by that point, but it didn't go well.

It is discouraging to me to know how far behind he is, but it just means I'll rejoice even more in the small steps of progress!

"For fun"

The boys (Dima in particular) ask "why?" a lot. A LOT. ;) Oftentimes, it's in reference to something that has just happened...

Why did Papa tickle Zhenya? Why did we go to the Harvest party at church? Why are those people being silly?

The answer to a lot of the questions is "for fun." And Dima just doesn't get it. It's sad to me that his early life was so messed up that he has no idea of what it means to do things for fun. For him, everything is about living. There is no fun involved. And while he knows how to have fun now, it still baffles him that people would do things just "for fun."

This is a continual learning experience for him, and probably his biggest struggle with school because he hasn't figured out when it's okay to be silly and have fun and when it's time to settle down and work. When he's working at school, he does really well.

Academically, his teacher says he is doing great. We're still working on behavior and social skills. And it's just going to take him a little while to catch up. Right now (just over 10 months home), his biggest issue is misbehaving behind his teacher's back. Fortunately (unfortunately for him!), he always tells the truth. So if another kid tells on him and Miss B asks him if he did something, if he did he will say yes. We're working on trying to help him understand that someone is always watching him--us, teachers, other kids--and that he can't get away with things. Thankfully (very, very thankfully), he doesn't do anything malicious or mean. He gets out of his chair when his teacher isn't looking, he pulls out toys he's not supposed to play with, etc., so these are very minor behaviors to work on. And, as his teacher says, he's not the only one. It is kindergarten, after all. ;)

Home sick

Me, not the boys. Thank goodness. ;)

I have a head cold. It's nothing too severe, but I didn't have anything critical going on at work today so instead of spreading my cold germs to the entire building I opted to stay home. I'm sure my coworkers are thanking me for not sneezing and blowing my nose all around them.

I have a hard time staying at home and resting when I'm sick. I feel like I should be doing things if I'm home, but the whole idea of staying home is to take it easy. I'm hoping to catch up on my coupons (I don't cut them out but enter them all into an excel spreadsheet--it's fantastic and saves me a lot of time) and relax on the couch. Maybe fit in a nap or two. :)

Tagged

This is the first time I've been tagged and I got it twice--from Jennifer at http://littleboydove.blogspot.com/ and from Christy at http://lifeafterukraine.blogspot.com/!

Seven random or weird things about me:

1--I've eaten a chocolate-covered cricket (my husband would say this goes to show I'll eat ANYTHING with chocolate! LOL)

2--My least favorite job as a parent is brushing teeth. I prefer dealing with vomit to brushing my boys' teeth. Neverless, I do it every night (unless Mark's home) because I know it's important.

3--I bite my nails when I'm excited or anxious, but usually only the ones on my left hand. Why? Well, my right hand is usually using the mouse. ;)

4--I have a lifetime certification as a canoeing instructor.

5--I only like crispy french fries and crispy bacon. I pass the soggy ones to Mark (who likes them--we're a perfect match!).

6--I don't wear makeup. Every once in a while I try it out again (usually for an evening event), but it just takes too long and I'd rather be sleeping in the morning. ;)

7--My favorite beverages are Dr. Pepper and Kahlua (not together--and Dr. Pepper will win out over Kahlua 9 times out of 10).

And now, to tag 7 others:

Julie
Katie
Meghan
Debbie
Missy
Thuy
Monica (private blog)

If you've already participated or don't do tags, please don't feel you need to participate. I just tagged people I'd like to hear some random things about. :)

Moving on

We have confirmation that another family is adopting the two little girls we were hoping to adopt. They are 4 yo twins located in Estonia and we found them through Reece's Rainbow (as many of you already know since our name was linked to them!).

I have to confess that my heart is a little heavier than I anticipated over this. But at the same time I am very glad they will have a family. They've been in the orphanage basically since birth and it's high time they get a home and family to love them and care for them. Losing an adoption referral (even though we never actually had it) is not unlike a miscarriage to me. This is the third time we have had a potential adoption fall through over the past 5 years, and it's painful every time. Before I get any nasty comments, yes, I've experienced miscarriage too. In both cases you start to look towards the future, towards what might be changing in your life, and then all of those musings and hopings are gone in an instant.

So where do we go from here? Not sure, but I'll do my best to keep you posted (still waiting on news on the house ;)).