The boys (Dima in particular) ask "why?" a lot. A LOT. ;) Oftentimes, it's in reference to something that has just happened...
Why did Papa tickle Zhenya? Why did we go to the Harvest party at church? Why are those people being silly?
The answer to a lot of the questions is "for fun." And Dima just doesn't get it. It's sad to me that his early life was so messed up that he has no idea of what it means to do things for fun. For him, everything is about living. There is no fun involved. And while he knows how to have fun now, it still baffles him that people would do things just "for fun."
This is a continual learning experience for him, and probably his biggest struggle with school because he hasn't figured out when it's okay to be silly and have fun and when it's time to settle down and work. When he's working at school, he does really well.
Academically, his teacher says he is doing great. We're still working on behavior and social skills. And it's just going to take him a little while to catch up. Right now (just over 10 months home), his biggest issue is misbehaving behind his teacher's back. Fortunately (unfortunately for him!), he always tells the truth. So if another kid tells on him and Miss B asks him if he did something, if he did he will say yes. We're working on trying to help him understand that someone is always watching him--us, teachers, other kids--and that he can't get away with things. Thankfully (very, very thankfully), he doesn't do anything malicious or mean. He gets out of his chair when his teacher isn't looking, he pulls out toys he's not supposed to play with, etc., so these are very minor behaviors to work on. And, as his teacher says, he's not the only one. It is kindergarten, after all. ;)
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5 comments:
Dima and Michael sound a lot alike! I know that their backgrounds are completely different, but I could copy and paste your entry and just change the names and it would totally fit.
Oh, sweet Dima. It's so sad that he wasn't allowed to just be a child...he had to worry about surviving. Hopefully you can help him understand that you and Mark will always take care of him and that he can be a child. I'm sure he is making strides toward this. :-)
I love his "misbehavior" it is soooo boy like! My 8 yr. old home grown son still has a hard time with not being so serious...could be a natural bent reinforced by being institutionalized!
Phillip has been home three years now and it still seems that every other word out of his mouth is "why". He too struggles with the concept of having fun.
What a sweetie. Many of my kids sound like Dima.
I am so glad that your are able to share Dennis' story with your kids. Wait till Thursday when Dennis gets the bandage off.
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