On Saturday, I woke up with an upset stomach. My first thought was food poisoning, as I didn't have any other symptoms but nausea. Since I didn't have a fever, I was able to mingle with Mark's extended family at the great O-family open house. It was awesome! We were able to see a lot of family that we hadn't seen in years. There were a lot of kids and the boys did great playing with their first- and (I think) second-cousins. I spent the day sitting and talking, as any form of movement amplified the nausea. I almost made it the whole day without tossing any cookies...almost. ;)
Sunday we met up with a good friend of ours from Michigan who is now living in Colorado Springs. She has three kids now so the boys played with some more new friends while we all caught up. The nausea was still in full force but really as long as I didn't move I was okay. I spent a lot of Sunday sitting. :) After lunch with M and her crew, we went back to Mark's parents' house and then the boys all went over to Mark's brother's house while I stayed home. I just didn't see the point in subjecting anyone else to my inability to move--plus they were getting together to eat chili. LOL I was bummed to miss out on a last few hours with family, but it really was for the best.
Monday we headed home. Mark drove almost the entire way (again!) although I did manage about an hour driving, I think. I stayed in the car for all of our meal breaks save dinner, which I braved very briefly. We made it home much later than we had hoped (not my fault, really!) but we did make it home and we all collapsed into bed.
I'm now able to report that all of the nausea is gone and I'm feeling 100% again. I wish it hadn't had to have happened during family time with people we don't get to see all that often, but unfortunately it was just one of those things. I'm just glad it doesn't appear to be anything contagious!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
aka The Day We Learn That Dima Gets Altitude Sickness
The boys had really been hoping for snow when we got to Denver, but it was actually warm while we were there. We did have flurries for 10 minutes one day, but it wasn't even enough to coat the ground. So we thought we'd take the opportunity to see some real snow and take the boys up into the mountains.
Mark's brother volunteered to drive so the five of us set out for Loveland Pass (elev. 11,990 ft.). Pretty much as soon as we were at the base of the mountains Dima commented that his tummy hurt. I didn't think much of it--there'd been a lot of excitement (and food!) the day before so it didn't seem too concerning. We made it to the pass and got the boys all outfitted and headed up the steps to the overlook. Dima sat down partway up (it's about 10 steps) and refused to go any further, so we let him rest while we were on the overlook. We grabbed a picture at the sign and then headed back to the car. We had hoped to be able to play in the snow for awhile, but it was really cold and I didn't want the boys out there for more than a few minutes. We got back in the car and got the boys unlayered and Dima had "the look." I asked him if he was going to get sick and he said yes so Mark pulled him out of the car. He changed his mind but by the time he got back in the car I had a bag ready...and it was a good thing I did. He alternated between puking and sleeping all the way down the mountain (through Eisenhower Tunnel). By the time we were back in Denver, he had one more episode where he told me that his "tummy hurt" and he needed "to relax" (his words!) but he never threw up again after we were off of the mountains. And he was fine the entire rest of the trip.
So as for a family ski trip...it'll be awhile. :)
Mark's brother volunteered to drive so the five of us set out for Loveland Pass (elev. 11,990 ft.). Pretty much as soon as we were at the base of the mountains Dima commented that his tummy hurt. I didn't think much of it--there'd been a lot of excitement (and food!) the day before so it didn't seem too concerning. We made it to the pass and got the boys all outfitted and headed up the steps to the overlook. Dima sat down partway up (it's about 10 steps) and refused to go any further, so we let him rest while we were on the overlook. We grabbed a picture at the sign and then headed back to the car. We had hoped to be able to play in the snow for awhile, but it was really cold and I didn't want the boys out there for more than a few minutes. We got back in the car and got the boys unlayered and Dima had "the look." I asked him if he was going to get sick and he said yes so Mark pulled him out of the car. He changed his mind but by the time he got back in the car I had a bag ready...and it was a good thing I did. He alternated between puking and sleeping all the way down the mountain (through Eisenhower Tunnel). By the time we were back in Denver, he had one more episode where he told me that his "tummy hurt" and he needed "to relax" (his words!) but he never threw up again after we were off of the mountains. And he was fine the entire rest of the trip.
So as for a family ski trip...it'll be awhile. :)
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas!
Yesterday we pretty much just hung out and relaxed. The boys got to spend some good quality time with Mark's parents and we just acclimated to being in a different place.
This morning, Mark's parents had laid all of the presents out under the Christmas tree. The boys never even noticed. They walked by them several times and never even saw them--and I'm talking about some big packages. We all got a big kick out of it. We went to Christmas mass and then came home and opened presents with all of Mark's immediate family. It went pretty well all things considered, but due to the amount of stimulation Mark and I opted to wait to give the boys our gifts.
The boys had a great time playing with their aunts, uncle, grandparents, and great-grandma all day!
At bedtime, we got the boys all dressed and ready for bed and then gave them our presents. They each got three presents--and they were most excited about their new watches. Dima's class has been learning to tell time and we get asked the time several times a day, so Mark had the great idea to get them watches. It was truly an inspired idea as the watches were the first thing they asked for the next morning when they woke up. :) Doing our presents at night, when everything was quieter, also allowed us to talk again about the meaning of Christmas and why we give presents. We kept it pretty simple so that hopefully the big part--Jesus' birthday--would stick.
All in all, I think it was a great, memorable Christmas! Merry Christmas to you and yours!
This morning, Mark's parents had laid all of the presents out under the Christmas tree. The boys never even noticed. They walked by them several times and never even saw them--and I'm talking about some big packages. We all got a big kick out of it. We went to Christmas mass and then came home and opened presents with all of Mark's immediate family. It went pretty well all things considered, but due to the amount of stimulation Mark and I opted to wait to give the boys our gifts.
The boys had a great time playing with their aunts, uncle, grandparents, and great-grandma all day!
At bedtime, we got the boys all dressed and ready for bed and then gave them our presents. They each got three presents--and they were most excited about their new watches. Dima's class has been learning to tell time and we get asked the time several times a day, so Mark had the great idea to get them watches. It was truly an inspired idea as the watches were the first thing they asked for the next morning when they woke up. :) Doing our presents at night, when everything was quieter, also allowed us to talk again about the meaning of Christmas and why we give presents. We kept it pretty simple so that hopefully the big part--Jesus' birthday--would stick.
All in all, I think it was a great, memorable Christmas! Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
A long drive
Yesterday the boys and I went to the Science Center. They really wanted to go to the zoo, but since it was freezing outside and we hadn't been to the SLSC in awhile they decided that would work instead. I am so thankful. It was really cold. ;)
Today we drove to Denver. Yes, we drove the whole way in one day. No, we don't have a DVD player in the car, and (to add insult to injury) I didn't pack any toys in the car for the boys to play with. Yet they are happy just playing and talking with each other and with us. It's a lot of fun. Not that any of us want to do it every day, but it's good family time. :)
Today we drove to Denver. Yes, we drove the whole way in one day. No, we don't have a DVD player in the car, and (to add insult to injury) I didn't pack any toys in the car for the boys to play with. Yet they are happy just playing and talking with each other and with us. It's a lot of fun. Not that any of us want to do it every day, but it's good family time. :)
Monday, December 22, 2008
A good weekend
It was a good weekend. Again this year we adopted a family through 100 Neediest Cases--a young mother and her 2-year-old son. Her most specific request was for warm clothing for herself and her son. Can you imaging being in a position at Christmas where you would be happy if someone would just help you out with some warm clothing so you can make sure your child isn't cold?
We didn't ask the boys for any input as to what to get the family, and we didn't do much explaining, but the boys did go shopping with us and did ask questions. We simply told them that we were buying things for a mama and her son who didn't have enough money to buy things. They seemed to be okay with that and did help Mark wrap the presents, and then helped me to deliver them to the agency that was coordinating this family's case.
We had fun making sure that this family will have lots of warm clothing plus lots of extras to help them enjoy Christmas!
We didn't ask the boys for any input as to what to get the family, and we didn't do much explaining, but the boys did go shopping with us and did ask questions. We simply told them that we were buying things for a mama and her son who didn't have enough money to buy things. They seemed to be okay with that and did help Mark wrap the presents, and then helped me to deliver them to the agency that was coordinating this family's case.
We had fun making sure that this family will have lots of warm clothing plus lots of extras to help them enjoy Christmas!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Half day
The boys had a half day of school today so I picked them up early. Dima in particular has been going nuts for the past week or so--all of the schedule changes at school are driving him insane. His teacher actually told me the other day that she had "lots of fun surprises" for the kids the last week of school. My thought was "Have fun dealing with my son!" He just doesn't do well with a lot of change and with the holidays coming on, and school programs, and everything he's a bit on-edge. He's handling it pretty well, I think, all things considered. We're just trying to keep everything consistent at home and deal with stuff as best we can.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Dec 18--one year ago
One year ago today, we had court to adopt our boys. This was an extremely traumatic day. While I don't want to share all of the details, there was a family member who was opposed to the boys' adoption. This person was unable to care for the boys but did not want them to leave the country. This person came to court and testified to that effect. Deciding to adopt the boys knowing about this situation was one of the hardest things I've ever done. The judge and all of the other interested parties (regional social worker, orphanage social worker, orphanage staff, etc.) felt that it was in the best interest of the boys to be adopted.
Obviously, there was a lot going on while we were in Ukraine, and some of it I still don't feel comfortable sharing for various reasons. The long and short of it is that this person was very upset during court. The judge called for a recess. During that time, we asked our facilitator if we could show this person some pictures of where the boys would be living if we were allowed to adopt them. We talked for some time (during the recess) and showed pictures of our house, St. Louis, and our extended family. After recess, this person got up and through many many tears stated that the boys should be adopted by us.
I cannot imagine how that person's heart felt at that moment, and the amazing amount of love and trust it required to send two little boys halfway around the world, knowing that this person would never see them again.
We agreed to send updates to this person and we have kept that agreement. We send pictures, letters, and some of the boys' schoolwork so this person can watch them grow from afar. We also receive letters from this person and we keep all of them for the boys when they are older. We were told they had no attachment to this person, and we never saw any evidence of it while we were there, but this person is still family.
This whole situation--while not exactly how I had pictured it!--was a complete answer to prayer.
I had always wanted my children to have some information about their birth family, and so many kids who have been adopted from Ukraine have absolutely no information. We got information and so much more--a living, breathing connection to their family, and to someone who helped care for them when they were little. We have pictures of us with this person and additional family members. This person also gave us additional pictures of Dima and Zhenya from before we met them.
After court (during which our 10 days were waived), we exchanged addresses with the family member and then spent a few hours (literally!) waiting for the court decree. Kostya said if he'd known it was going to take so long we would have left and gotten lunch! We finally got the decree and then spent the next couple of hours running around getting other paperwork started. Although the boys were already legally ours, we didn't want to pick them up until we had most of the paperwork done. No need to run them all over the region too, and we weren't sure how they would do with traveling in the car. Mark and I were talking last night and decided that Dec 19 is probably our official "gotcha" day--the day we actually picked the boys up.
Obviously, there was a lot going on while we were in Ukraine, and some of it I still don't feel comfortable sharing for various reasons. The long and short of it is that this person was very upset during court. The judge called for a recess. During that time, we asked our facilitator if we could show this person some pictures of where the boys would be living if we were allowed to adopt them. We talked for some time (during the recess) and showed pictures of our house, St. Louis, and our extended family. After recess, this person got up and through many many tears stated that the boys should be adopted by us.
I cannot imagine how that person's heart felt at that moment, and the amazing amount of love and trust it required to send two little boys halfway around the world, knowing that this person would never see them again.
We agreed to send updates to this person and we have kept that agreement. We send pictures, letters, and some of the boys' schoolwork so this person can watch them grow from afar. We also receive letters from this person and we keep all of them for the boys when they are older. We were told they had no attachment to this person, and we never saw any evidence of it while we were there, but this person is still family.
This whole situation--while not exactly how I had pictured it!--was a complete answer to prayer.
I had always wanted my children to have some information about their birth family, and so many kids who have been adopted from Ukraine have absolutely no information. We got information and so much more--a living, breathing connection to their family, and to someone who helped care for them when they were little. We have pictures of us with this person and additional family members. This person also gave us additional pictures of Dima and Zhenya from before we met them.
After court (during which our 10 days were waived), we exchanged addresses with the family member and then spent a few hours (literally!) waiting for the court decree. Kostya said if he'd known it was going to take so long we would have left and gotten lunch! We finally got the decree and then spent the next couple of hours running around getting other paperwork started. Although the boys were already legally ours, we didn't want to pick them up until we had most of the paperwork done. No need to run them all over the region too, and we weren't sure how they would do with traveling in the car. Mark and I were talking last night and decided that Dec 19 is probably our official "gotcha" day--the day we actually picked the boys up.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
It could be easier
Sometimes it seems life would be much easier if we would just let things slide. But it's incredible to see changes that occur when we stick with it and enforce what we know will benefit us all in the long run.
Dima's behavior has made remarkable improvements since we tightened his reins a bit over the past couple of weeks. It hasn't been easy, though. Due to some undesirable behavior at school a week ago, he missed Mark's office Christmas party that Friday. Mark and Zhenya went and I stayed home with Dima. He also missed out on a playdate and had to come to band rehearsal with us last weekend (not exactly punishment for him, but he had to sit and he didn't get to play at their friend's house--so close enough). It's all worth it for days like today.
Mark played in TubaChristmas today. This is something like his 20th year participating, so this is an annual tradition for us. This morning, the boys and I dropped him off for rehearsal and then made a Walgreens run. We went home, played, and had lunch and then went to the Galleria for Mark's concert. Dima did so well during the concert, but better than his good behavior were his actions towards me. I spread out the boys' coats on the floor for them to sit on as the marble tile was a little hard, and he figured out he could stretch out and lay his head in my lap. He then asked me to rub his back as he lay there and if I stopped he would ask me to start rubbing his back again.
This from a child that 12 months ago would not touch us, and wasn't sure what to do when we touched him. If we picked him up he was stiff as a board--he wouldn't wrap his arms or legs around us at all. If anything, he would put a death grip on whatever clothing (not us--only our clothing) he could get ahold of out of fear of falling. The changes in his emotional state over the past year are nothing short of miraculous. And I really am serious about that. There have been times over the past year when I really wondered if Dima would ever be able to function normally emotionally. He just had so much baggage and so many survival skills that he had developed. And I wondered too if we were really the right people to be able to help him through this. While he will always carry those early memories for the rest of his life, I hope that he is learning to manage his baggage better, and that eventually he will be able to turn it all over and rest in the One whose yoke is easy, and whose burden is light.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)
Dima's behavior has made remarkable improvements since we tightened his reins a bit over the past couple of weeks. It hasn't been easy, though. Due to some undesirable behavior at school a week ago, he missed Mark's office Christmas party that Friday. Mark and Zhenya went and I stayed home with Dima. He also missed out on a playdate and had to come to band rehearsal with us last weekend (not exactly punishment for him, but he had to sit and he didn't get to play at their friend's house--so close enough). It's all worth it for days like today.
Mark played in TubaChristmas today. This is something like his 20th year participating, so this is an annual tradition for us. This morning, the boys and I dropped him off for rehearsal and then made a Walgreens run. We went home, played, and had lunch and then went to the Galleria for Mark's concert. Dima did so well during the concert, but better than his good behavior were his actions towards me. I spread out the boys' coats on the floor for them to sit on as the marble tile was a little hard, and he figured out he could stretch out and lay his head in my lap. He then asked me to rub his back as he lay there and if I stopped he would ask me to start rubbing his back again.
This from a child that 12 months ago would not touch us, and wasn't sure what to do when we touched him. If we picked him up he was stiff as a board--he wouldn't wrap his arms or legs around us at all. If anything, he would put a death grip on whatever clothing (not us--only our clothing) he could get ahold of out of fear of falling. The changes in his emotional state over the past year are nothing short of miraculous. And I really am serious about that. There have been times over the past year when I really wondered if Dima would ever be able to function normally emotionally. He just had so much baggage and so many survival skills that he had developed. And I wondered too if we were really the right people to be able to help him through this. While he will always carry those early memories for the rest of his life, I hope that he is learning to manage his baggage better, and that eventually he will be able to turn it all over and rest in the One whose yoke is easy, and whose burden is light.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)
Friday, December 12, 2008
You made me cry!
I don't know who did it, but someone has donated to the girls' adoption fund on Reece's Rainbow. It made me cry when I saw it last night. To think that someone else wants our girls to come home is so precious to me. Thank you, whoever you are!! It may not seem like much to many people, but having done this once before I could lay out many, many expenses that can be covered by small amounts--the notaries in Ukraine, taxis to and from the orphanage, document fees...the list goes on.
As an update to the adoption process, we have received our request to be fingerprinted! All this really means is that we get to go (again) and be fingerprinted for an FBI background check with USCIS. Unfortunately (and as expected), our fingerprint date is a day that Mark cannot be fingerprinted, so he is going to try to get in next Wednesday. If that doesn't work he won't be fingerprinted until after Christmas. I know it seems that Mark should just be able to take off of work, but it's not that easy to reschedule physical therapy patients. Either way I'm trying to just relax and trust in God's timing. If there's anything I learned from the last adoption, it's that God's timing and my timing don't always match up--but His is infinitely better than mine. ;)
As an update to the adoption process, we have received our request to be fingerprinted! All this really means is that we get to go (again) and be fingerprinted for an FBI background check with USCIS. Unfortunately (and as expected), our fingerprint date is a day that Mark cannot be fingerprinted, so he is going to try to get in next Wednesday. If that doesn't work he won't be fingerprinted until after Christmas. I know it seems that Mark should just be able to take off of work, but it's not that easy to reschedule physical therapy patients. Either way I'm trying to just relax and trust in God's timing. If there's anything I learned from the last adoption, it's that God's timing and my timing don't always match up--but His is infinitely better than mine. ;)
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Literature quiz
Last night I was making pizza (per Dima's request) and I had the container of vegetable oil sitting out. The boys asked me what it was and I told them it was oil. Zhenya pointed at the bottle and turned to Dima and very seriously said...
"That's for the owl."
I had a really hard time containing my laughter. If you don't get it, don't worry. I'll edit the post later to share the reference.
Edited to add: Yea for Bethany who got the reference!! It's from Dr. Seuss' ABC book, and the line is "O is very useful. You use it when you say Oscar's only ostrich oiled an orange owl today." I'm not quite sure what Zhenya thought I must have been doing with the oil since we don't have an owl. ;)
Dima has been doing much better the past few days. Thanks for all of your prayers! I don't know how school went yesterday, except that I don't have any notes from the teacher(s) and he kept all 3 of his apples (they start each day with 3 apples and lose them if there are issues during the day). He's also been much more affectionate and happy at home. We're just trying to weather some of the "storms" with consistency so that he will know that no matter how he behaves he will have the same consequences and no matter how bad he gets, he's stuck with us. ;) He has also been pulling some of his old "lazy"tricks that he used to use at the orphanage. Funny, they still don't work on us, especially after a year of seeing what he can do. LOL
"That's for the owl."
I had a really hard time containing my laughter. If you don't get it, don't worry. I'll edit the post later to share the reference.
Edited to add: Yea for Bethany who got the reference!! It's from Dr. Seuss' ABC book, and the line is "O is very useful. You use it when you say Oscar's only ostrich oiled an orange owl today." I'm not quite sure what Zhenya thought I must have been doing with the oil since we don't have an owl. ;)
Dima has been doing much better the past few days. Thanks for all of your prayers! I don't know how school went yesterday, except that I don't have any notes from the teacher(s) and he kept all 3 of his apples (they start each day with 3 apples and lose them if there are issues during the day). He's also been much more affectionate and happy at home. We're just trying to weather some of the "storms" with consistency so that he will know that no matter how he behaves he will have the same consequences and no matter how bad he gets, he's stuck with us. ;) He has also been pulling some of his old "lazy"tricks that he used to use at the orphanage. Funny, they still don't work on us, especially after a year of seeing what he can do. LOL
Monday, December 08, 2008
Help bring home our daughters!
For our first adoption, we did not seek any financial assistance, although we were given gifts by many different people which was a tremendous blessing! God had blessed us with the majority of the resources we needed for our adoption through the sale of our house in Michigan when we moved to Missouri.
Things are a little different this time around. Although we are in a better place financially with both of us working, it is always a challenge to come up with $20K out of pocket--and usually relatively quickly! :) We also would like to be able to keep some savings at home for the girls' medical needs. If you haven't read their profile, Dana is diagnosed with cerebral palsy (CP) and a convergent squint. We are unsure if she will need surgery but she will most likely need a good deal of therapy, and possibly some braces for her legs. Eve is diagnosed with a palate deformity and hip dysplasia. We anticipate needing surgery for her palate. Thankfully, we have very good insurance that will cover a lot of the girls' medical needs, but we would like to be prepared for payments towards our deductible and copays and all of those other "out-of-pocket" medical expenses that seem to arise, so we're trying to leave some money in savings for that. In addition, we will need to purchase a new (to us) vehicle. We currently have a station wagon that seats 5--but there will soon be 6 of us and 4 (FOUR!) in car seats!
All that to say that we would love your help in bringing the girls home. Small amounts add up to become big amounts very quickly. Would you consider foregoing a cup of Starbucks once a week and donating that $5 to the girls? All donations through Reece's Rainbow are tax-deductible and will go ONLY towards the girls' adoption expenses, so if you're looking for a good way to get those end-of-the-year contributions in, this might be it! LOL
I also know that there are many of you who would love to help but are unable to financially. Believe me, we covet your prayers tremendously! And if you have a blog and would be willing, please consider placing the button for the girls on your blog to encourage others to pray for us as well.
The code for the girls' button is below. If you have any questions about how to put it on your blog, please let me know in the comments and I will do my best to help.
Things are a little different this time around. Although we are in a better place financially with both of us working, it is always a challenge to come up with $20K out of pocket--and usually relatively quickly! :) We also would like to be able to keep some savings at home for the girls' medical needs. If you haven't read their profile, Dana is diagnosed with cerebral palsy (CP) and a convergent squint. We are unsure if she will need surgery but she will most likely need a good deal of therapy, and possibly some braces for her legs. Eve is diagnosed with a palate deformity and hip dysplasia. We anticipate needing surgery for her palate. Thankfully, we have very good insurance that will cover a lot of the girls' medical needs, but we would like to be prepared for payments towards our deductible and copays and all of those other "out-of-pocket" medical expenses that seem to arise, so we're trying to leave some money in savings for that. In addition, we will need to purchase a new (to us) vehicle. We currently have a station wagon that seats 5--but there will soon be 6 of us and 4 (FOUR!) in car seats!
All that to say that we would love your help in bringing the girls home. Small amounts add up to become big amounts very quickly. Would you consider foregoing a cup of Starbucks once a week and donating that $5 to the girls? All donations through Reece's Rainbow are tax-deductible and will go ONLY towards the girls' adoption expenses, so if you're looking for a good way to get those end-of-the-year contributions in, this might be it! LOL
I also know that there are many of you who would love to help but are unable to financially. Believe me, we covet your prayers tremendously! And if you have a blog and would be willing, please consider placing the button for the girls on your blog to encourage others to pray for us as well.
The code for the girls' button is below. If you have any questions about how to put it on your blog, please let me know in the comments and I will do my best to help.
It's fixed!
Digest version of the last few weeks:
--After many, many hours our laptop is back in business. Hooray!
--We are in the process of working towards closing on the new house. All offers/counteroffers have been accepted and we're waiting on financing paperwork. We're anticipating closing this month but we still don't know when we'll move in. There are a few things (like new plumbing!) that have to happen before we can take occupancy, although we'll have possession at closing.
--We have a Christmas tree! It's got lights on it but no ornaments. The boys love it and think it's quite amazing. I think it's quite amazing that we managed to find one that fit in our house. ;) We went to Eckerts and cut a tree down. The boys even helped with the saw when Mark was cutting it down. Unfortunately, the camera stayed at home.
--We're still gathering paperwork for the adoption. As always with Ukraine, it seems like absolute never-ending paperwork. The nice thing is that it's familiar. I already know where to send off for everything and how to get all of the documents notarized and apostilled, so that's definitely a plus.
--We had our last band concert on Sunday. It was a great concert. The boys were there with Aley (our babysitter) and did really well. They got a little restless by the end, but that's to be expected. Don't worry, we still made them sit through the choir concert afterwards. Nothing like training them to sit for long periods of time. LOL
--Zhenya is going through a rude phase which is hopefully in the process of getting squashed. He has become very demanding and just downright rude. Not a good character trait. I'm not sure if it's happening at school but we're certainly seeing it at home.
--Dima's having a really hard time right now. I'm guessing it's some of that "one-year-home" emotional turmoil that other adoptive parents have seen. He's having a lot of emotional outbursts, which in some ways is really good. When we first got home he would just shut down. It's encouraging now that he is comfortable enough to be able to share his feelings. We just need to work on sharing them appropriately. ;) I've been keeping an eye out to see if any of this is related to Christmas, but it really doesn't seem to be. It seems to be just more of him wrestling with his emotions. We're tightening his reins a bit to give him a little more security and help with consistency for him. Please be in prayer for comfort for him, and strength to deal with the inner turmoil he's got. He's only 6, but he's gone through emotional changes that most people don't deal with until college or later and he just doesn't know how to process all of this.
--After many, many hours our laptop is back in business. Hooray!
--We are in the process of working towards closing on the new house. All offers/counteroffers have been accepted and we're waiting on financing paperwork. We're anticipating closing this month but we still don't know when we'll move in. There are a few things (like new plumbing!) that have to happen before we can take occupancy, although we'll have possession at closing.
--We have a Christmas tree! It's got lights on it but no ornaments. The boys love it and think it's quite amazing. I think it's quite amazing that we managed to find one that fit in our house. ;) We went to Eckerts and cut a tree down. The boys even helped with the saw when Mark was cutting it down. Unfortunately, the camera stayed at home.
--We're still gathering paperwork for the adoption. As always with Ukraine, it seems like absolute never-ending paperwork. The nice thing is that it's familiar. I already know where to send off for everything and how to get all of the documents notarized and apostilled, so that's definitely a plus.
--We had our last band concert on Sunday. It was a great concert. The boys were there with Aley (our babysitter) and did really well. They got a little restless by the end, but that's to be expected. Don't worry, we still made them sit through the choir concert afterwards. Nothing like training them to sit for long periods of time. LOL
--Zhenya is going through a rude phase which is hopefully in the process of getting squashed. He has become very demanding and just downright rude. Not a good character trait. I'm not sure if it's happening at school but we're certainly seeing it at home.
--Dima's having a really hard time right now. I'm guessing it's some of that "one-year-home" emotional turmoil that other adoptive parents have seen. He's having a lot of emotional outbursts, which in some ways is really good. When we first got home he would just shut down. It's encouraging now that he is comfortable enough to be able to share his feelings. We just need to work on sharing them appropriately. ;) I've been keeping an eye out to see if any of this is related to Christmas, but it really doesn't seem to be. It seems to be just more of him wrestling with his emotions. We're tightening his reins a bit to give him a little more security and help with consistency for him. Please be in prayer for comfort for him, and strength to deal with the inner turmoil he's got. He's only 6, but he's gone through emotional changes that most people don't deal with until college or later and he just doesn't know how to process all of this.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
SDA appt--one year ago
(Tuesday) Our apartment was located not far from the SDA, but our appointment wasn't until the afternoon. If I remember correctly, this was the day that Kostya walked us all over Kyiv on errands. It was great exercise and a great way to take our minds off of the upcoming appointment. I was so nervous about the appointment that I had basically only eaten one meal a day since leaving the US. Between that and the exercise some of my pants were becoming loose pretty quickly! LOL
Our appointment was in the afternoon. We showed up about 10 minutes early and the outside gate (on the side of the building) was locked. We waited...and waited...and waited--and it was cold! There was another couple and their facilitator waiting as well. Finally a woman came and unlocked the gate and we all filed into the stairwell. A woman came to the top of the stairs and called our names, and all 3 of us headed up the stairs only to have Kostya stopped. After a discussion in Russian, Kostya turned to us and said that the SDA had changed the rules again and he would not be allowed into our appointment with us--that this woman would be our translator. And he said "...make sure she translates everything correctly." ROFL!! When we asked K about it later, he said he meant make sure that she fully answered all of our questions and that we understood everything she was translating, but the way it came out was really funny.
We went up the stairs and went into a door on the right side of the hallway. We passed through a small office with a couch and table in one corner and a desk in the other corner, and went through a door on the right into another office. One end of the very small room was filled with a large desk (maybe it just seemed large because the room was small!) and a filing cabinet, and right in front of the desk was a short round table and two couches and a chair. There was a beautiful, tall, thin woman with long brown hair sitting behind the desk. She had a kind face and smiled when we came in. Our translator sat down in the chair and we were asked to sit down on the couches. I don't remember much about the interview. I think the psychologist asked us to tell her about ourselves which we did briefly. Then she explained that there are very few healthy children available for adoption, etc. Then, without showing us any files, she described sibling sets she had available for adoption. The files were on her desk, and she looked through them, but she didn't hand them to us until we expressed interest in one. All told, we only actually saw two files--one for a set of brothers (4 and 5 yo) with a LOT of medical issues and one for a brother/sister sibling set (2 and 8 yo).
The 4 and 5 yo definitely fit our profile the best, but there were really a LOT of medical issues there, and we were particularly concerned about the oldest. We asked repeatedly to see more files and were told again and again "there are no more." We asked about children with hearing loss, and the psychologist said she had one little girl with no ears (Tami?? Is she yours??) but we were set on siblings. So we looked at the file of the 4 and 5yo again. Stalling for time and trying desperately to figure out what to do, I asked the psychologist where the boys were located.
"Donetsk region."
That sealed it--as Mark and I both started laughing. I hope the SDA workers didn't think they were sending crazy people off to see children. :) Our facilitator was from Donetsk, and we had joked early on about how it would be a great Christmas present for him if we could find some children in Donetsk. When the psychologist said the boys were in Donetsk, we knew we had to go see them, even if they didn't turn out to be the right children for us. After we had accepted the referral, the psychologist smiled at us and told us that the orphanage director for the boys was very mean. She said she just wanted to warn us--that the director was very anti-adoption and put lots of really bad, incorrect medical information into her children's files so that they wouldn't be adopted.
We left the appointment and I was feeling excited but discouraged. The boys really had a LOT of medical issues listed on their files and I just wasn't sure we could handle two with this amount of special needs--and we weren't even sure what needs they really had.
We waited outside while Kostya went in to get all of the contact information he needed for the boys' orphanage to be able to go visit them. When Kostya came out, he had additional information for us. The SDA did not believe the boys' medical information was correct. Apparently, not too long before our appointment, the social worker for the boys' region had called the SDA and asked why no families were visiting the boys as they had been available for international adoption since March(!). The SDA explained to her that due to the extreme nature of the boys' medical information that they did not feel that anyone would want to adopt the boys. The social worker stated the boys were in good health--she had seen them and worked with them and that their medical records were incorrect. So the SDA had decided to start showing their file to adoptive parents.
We were the first family to ever see their profile.
While we had hoped to be able to get our referral papers that day, since our appointment was in the afternoon they wouldn't be ready until the next day. We spent the rest of the day (well, Kostya did!) tracking down train tickets to Slaviansk (Donetsk region) on the overnight train for Wednesday night. We also tried repeatedly to post on the blog, but the internet cafe we were using wouldn't allow me to use blogger so we sent a few emails and called it a day.
Our appointment was in the afternoon. We showed up about 10 minutes early and the outside gate (on the side of the building) was locked. We waited...and waited...and waited--and it was cold! There was another couple and their facilitator waiting as well. Finally a woman came and unlocked the gate and we all filed into the stairwell. A woman came to the top of the stairs and called our names, and all 3 of us headed up the stairs only to have Kostya stopped. After a discussion in Russian, Kostya turned to us and said that the SDA had changed the rules again and he would not be allowed into our appointment with us--that this woman would be our translator. And he said "...make sure she translates everything correctly." ROFL!! When we asked K about it later, he said he meant make sure that she fully answered all of our questions and that we understood everything she was translating, but the way it came out was really funny.
We went up the stairs and went into a door on the right side of the hallway. We passed through a small office with a couch and table in one corner and a desk in the other corner, and went through a door on the right into another office. One end of the very small room was filled with a large desk (maybe it just seemed large because the room was small!) and a filing cabinet, and right in front of the desk was a short round table and two couches and a chair. There was a beautiful, tall, thin woman with long brown hair sitting behind the desk. She had a kind face and smiled when we came in. Our translator sat down in the chair and we were asked to sit down on the couches. I don't remember much about the interview. I think the psychologist asked us to tell her about ourselves which we did briefly. Then she explained that there are very few healthy children available for adoption, etc. Then, without showing us any files, she described sibling sets she had available for adoption. The files were on her desk, and she looked through them, but she didn't hand them to us until we expressed interest in one. All told, we only actually saw two files--one for a set of brothers (4 and 5 yo) with a LOT of medical issues and one for a brother/sister sibling set (2 and 8 yo).
The 4 and 5 yo definitely fit our profile the best, but there were really a LOT of medical issues there, and we were particularly concerned about the oldest. We asked repeatedly to see more files and were told again and again "there are no more." We asked about children with hearing loss, and the psychologist said she had one little girl with no ears (Tami?? Is she yours??) but we were set on siblings. So we looked at the file of the 4 and 5yo again. Stalling for time and trying desperately to figure out what to do, I asked the psychologist where the boys were located.
"Donetsk region."
That sealed it--as Mark and I both started laughing. I hope the SDA workers didn't think they were sending crazy people off to see children. :) Our facilitator was from Donetsk, and we had joked early on about how it would be a great Christmas present for him if we could find some children in Donetsk. When the psychologist said the boys were in Donetsk, we knew we had to go see them, even if they didn't turn out to be the right children for us. After we had accepted the referral, the psychologist smiled at us and told us that the orphanage director for the boys was very mean. She said she just wanted to warn us--that the director was very anti-adoption and put lots of really bad, incorrect medical information into her children's files so that they wouldn't be adopted.
We left the appointment and I was feeling excited but discouraged. The boys really had a LOT of medical issues listed on their files and I just wasn't sure we could handle two with this amount of special needs--and we weren't even sure what needs they really had.
We waited outside while Kostya went in to get all of the contact information he needed for the boys' orphanage to be able to go visit them. When Kostya came out, he had additional information for us. The SDA did not believe the boys' medical information was correct. Apparently, not too long before our appointment, the social worker for the boys' region had called the SDA and asked why no families were visiting the boys as they had been available for international adoption since March(!). The SDA explained to her that due to the extreme nature of the boys' medical information that they did not feel that anyone would want to adopt the boys. The social worker stated the boys were in good health--she had seen them and worked with them and that their medical records were incorrect. So the SDA had decided to start showing their file to adoptive parents.
We were the first family to ever see their profile.
While we had hoped to be able to get our referral papers that day, since our appointment was in the afternoon they wouldn't be ready until the next day. We spent the rest of the day (well, Kostya did!) tracking down train tickets to Slaviansk (Donetsk region) on the overnight train for Wednesday night. We also tried repeatedly to post on the blog, but the internet cafe we were using wouldn't allow me to use blogger so we sent a few emails and called it a day.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
In Kyiv (one year ago)
We arrived without incident (other than being a couple of hours late) in Kyiv. We waited for a little while for our bags, and there were a few moments when we wondered if everything had made it, but there were many other people from our flight waiting for bags so we stuck it out and sure enough everything appeared. We went through customs without a problem--no one asked to see anything, although the guys at customs asked us twice if we had brought gifts for anyone. We hadn't--only clothes for our future children and then whatever we couldn't use to be left at the orphanage. The customs agent seemed surprised but waved us through.
We went through the hallway and the double-doors that open into the waiting area, which was filled with people. We didn't see Kostya anywhere, so we went to the windows and tried to call him. His line was busy. After about 15 minutes we finally saw him--he'd been looking for us based on our passport pictures which were 8 years old. :) Kostya had arrived in the train from his home region that morning, and he and our driver had been waiting at the airport for 2 hours. Since he'd been on the train the night before he had no way of knowing our flight was delayed. It was raining, so we quickly found Sasha (our driver) and tossed our bags in the back. He had a REALLY nice car and we enjoyed our ride to our apartment. I think on the way we stopped at the SDA to get our appointment time--Mark and I didn't go in, so I can't remember if Kostya stopped then or later.
That evening we met up with Tami and Shad and Chris and Sue for dinner at O'Panas. We were all on the Ukraine Adoption Yahoo group and had set up a dinner together since we all had appointments the same week. Mark and I walked there from our apartment (Kostya was a little concerned about us going alone but we assured him we'd be fine. ;)) It was a blast getting to meet and talk with people I'd been chatting with for months. Plus the food was delicious!
After dinner (and a long wait for the bill!) we all went our separate ways. Mark and I meandered back to our apartment, enjoying being in Kyiv and the beautiful city at night.
We went through the hallway and the double-doors that open into the waiting area, which was filled with people. We didn't see Kostya anywhere, so we went to the windows and tried to call him. His line was busy. After about 15 minutes we finally saw him--he'd been looking for us based on our passport pictures which were 8 years old. :) Kostya had arrived in the train from his home region that morning, and he and our driver had been waiting at the airport for 2 hours. Since he'd been on the train the night before he had no way of knowing our flight was delayed. It was raining, so we quickly found Sasha (our driver) and tossed our bags in the back. He had a REALLY nice car and we enjoyed our ride to our apartment. I think on the way we stopped at the SDA to get our appointment time--Mark and I didn't go in, so I can't remember if Kostya stopped then or later.
That evening we met up with Tami and Shad and Chris and Sue for dinner at O'Panas. We were all on the Ukraine Adoption Yahoo group and had set up a dinner together since we all had appointments the same week. Mark and I walked there from our apartment (Kostya was a little concerned about us going alone but we assured him we'd be fine. ;)) It was a blast getting to meet and talk with people I'd been chatting with for months. Plus the food was delicious!
After dinner (and a long wait for the bill!) we all went our separate ways. Mark and I meandered back to our apartment, enjoying being in Kyiv and the beautiful city at night.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
One year ago
One year ago today we were heading out to fly to Ukraine. We had a really uneventful travel time--we flew from St Louis to New York and then from New York direct to Ukraine. I remember being really happy I'd been reading so many adoption blogs--Aerosvit wasn't listed on the terminals, but someone else had posted which terminal it was in so we hoped on the tram at JFK and started riding around. Sure enough, we found it!
Unfortunately for us, Aerosvit doesn't have online checkin, so you have to stand in line to check in. As we stood there, our flight was delayed several times. We were originally supposed to leave at 6pm...we finally left close to 9pm. Mark and I had a great time waiting in line and people-watching. Nearly everyone else in line spoke Russian, and the outfits...well, we felt like we were already in Ukraine. ;)
Unfortunately for us, Aerosvit doesn't have online checkin, so you have to stand in line to check in. As we stood there, our flight was delayed several times. We were originally supposed to leave at 6pm...we finally left close to 9pm. Mark and I had a great time waiting in line and people-watching. Nearly everyone else in line spoke Russian, and the outfits...well, we felt like we were already in Ukraine. ;)
Monday, December 01, 2008
Happy (belated) Thanksgiving!
I had the best of intentions of posting on Thursday evening with pics of the boys' Thanksgiving feast at school--complete with pictures! But our laptop has decided to have a mid-life crisis (it's 7 years old) and is not being very cooperative. As in, it currently won't access the internet. We do have another computer but I'm not on it very often as it's down in the basement office and I stay upstairs when the boys are awake.
We did have a very nice Thanksgiving. We went to the Masseys' house for Thanksgiving day and spent several fun hours with their family, including their son Garrett who came home from Ukraine a few months ago. Friday after work we headed to my family and spent the weekend there. The boys ate and ate and ate this weekend. We got home last night and they wanted to eat more--I seriously don't know how anything else could fit in their tummies. They are amazing eaters. Hopefullywe they gained a few pounds this weekend. :)
The Thanksgiving feast at school went really well last week! Both boys participated and there were some spots where Dima participated more than Zhenya, which is nothing short of amazing. Dima was a little stressed in the morning (his teacher said he spent the entire morning saying "Why?" to everything that was said--another of his stress responses ;)) but did a great job not chewing on his clothing (he did have short sleeves on) and did a great job at the performance. He had a really good weekend although we did have a meltdown on Sunday before we headed home. And due to some other continued disobedience as a result of him being VERY exhausted from the weekend, he went to bed early last night and was out instantly. But both boys had a great time getting to see some extended family and playing with some (first cousins once-removed? second cousins?) cousins that are close in age. Their 5 yo girl cousin was very disappointed that there were only boys to play with. ;) Hopefully next year we'll have some girls for you, Q! :) :)
On that topic, we submitted our I600A last Friday! Hooray! For those of you not familiar with the process, we have to get approval from the US government to adopt internationally. The I600A is a request for approval to adopt internationally. Now we wait for our FBI fingerprinting appointment and then our approval to adopt. As we wait, we'll continue collecting some additional documents for our dossier in the hopes that as soon as we have our 171H (I600A approval) we'll be able to submit our dossier to Ukraine.
We did have a very nice Thanksgiving. We went to the Masseys' house for Thanksgiving day and spent several fun hours with their family, including their son Garrett who came home from Ukraine a few months ago. Friday after work we headed to my family and spent the weekend there. The boys ate and ate and ate this weekend. We got home last night and they wanted to eat more--I seriously don't know how anything else could fit in their tummies. They are amazing eaters. Hopefully
The Thanksgiving feast at school went really well last week! Both boys participated and there were some spots where Dima participated more than Zhenya, which is nothing short of amazing. Dima was a little stressed in the morning (his teacher said he spent the entire morning saying "Why?" to everything that was said--another of his stress responses ;)) but did a great job not chewing on his clothing (he did have short sleeves on) and did a great job at the performance. He had a really good weekend although we did have a meltdown on Sunday before we headed home. And due to some other continued disobedience as a result of him being VERY exhausted from the weekend, he went to bed early last night and was out instantly. But both boys had a great time getting to see some extended family and playing with some (first cousins once-removed? second cousins?) cousins that are close in age. Their 5 yo girl cousin was very disappointed that there were only boys to play with. ;) Hopefully next year we'll have some girls for you, Q! :) :)
On that topic, we submitted our I600A last Friday! Hooray! For those of you not familiar with the process, we have to get approval from the US government to adopt internationally. The I600A is a request for approval to adopt internationally. Now we wait for our FBI fingerprinting appointment and then our approval to adopt. As we wait, we'll continue collecting some additional documents for our dossier in the hopes that as soon as we have our 171H (I600A approval) we'll be able to submit our dossier to Ukraine.
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