...but we're working on that.
Thursday was long. The boys had school and then I picked them up and we went straight to OT for Dima. That wasn't so bad, but then dinner was later than usual. While the boys were showing me their schoolwork, it became apparent that Dima was not finishing his work at school. They were tracing and writing letters, and then on one other sheet they were circling things that are the same. Now, I realize it's kindergarten, but I also realize that with Dima, if he figures out that if he doesn't do the work at school there are no consequences he will be only too happy to stop doing the work altogether, or will do the bare minimum required to make it look like he's trying.
No go in our household. You do not get to be lazy.
So I made him finish his paper. What should have taken 5 minutes, maybe 10 because he needed some help on making his letters, took 30 minutes and involved a meltdown. In all honesty it wasn't entirely his fault. It happened at the end of the day and he'd had school and then OT. But after his meltdown, he was fine and quickly finished up the ONE LETTER he had left and then went off to bed. Grrr... We have a new policy now...you finish your homework as soon as you get home, before you get to go play. I was hoping we could have some down time for the boys when they first get home from school--time to just play and unwind a bit, but it will be much more effective for Dima not to play until he finishes his work. This will encourage him to finish it at school (this is all stuff he can do and that they have plenty of time in-class to do) and learn how to do his work promptly and correctly...at least that's what I'm hoping. ;)
In all actuality, this meltdown wasn't too bad. They are turning into more crying spells than the wailing we were seeing before. I really think he's starting to learn how to control his emotions, and he's understanding that we will not be controlled by his emotions.
On Friday, as soon as we got home from school the boys showed me their work (we do this every day after school). Dima had a couple of things he hadn't finished, similar to Thursday. We sat down at the table and started on it while I got dinner going. At one point, he stuck his bottom lip out and prepared to cry.
I said, "Dima, you can cry and lose your sticker and still have to sit here and finish your work and miss out on playing, or you can not cry and get your work done and go play."
Dima looked up at me, "Go play."
"Then finish your work."
He sucked his bottom lip back in, finished his letters, and went to play. He was very proud of himself when he had finished his letters (he got lots of praise, of course!!) and he got to play before dinner and keep his sticker. He's just got to learn that this crying thing isn't going to get him out of stuff anymore. It's an unfortunate habit to have developed and one that's going to take some time to break. But I don't see how it will serve him to let him continue in laziness now. If he gets in the habit of not finishing work now, when he doesn't really have homework, how much will he have to do when they are actually sending work home?
Monday, September 08, 2008
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4 comments:
Well done mama! Isn't it fun to watch them make good choices?
you sound like a very good mother. I'm impressed.
You handled it well.
Trying to find the best time to do homework has been tough in our house... although I only have one in school right now so it's really not that bad.
Anyway, it sounds like you found a good fit for Dima. Michael has to have food shoveled in his mouth the minute he gets home and about 1/2 hour of alone time in his room before he can focus on anything else. It took awhile for me to figure him out, but once I did, it's been smooth sailing most days!
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