Forever

I forgot to mention that we also celebrated Dima's birthday Sunday afternoon before the circus. He opened a present from us and a present from one set of grandparents, and I really think that was a good number for him. He was excited without being overwhelmed. We also hung a "Happy Birthday" banner over his bed. We did not, however, have cake and ice cream or sing. We just didn't get to it. :) I think the circus made up for it, though. Zhenya was pretty funny--I asked him to help me carry Dima's presents in, so he gave one to Dima and then said he would open the other one. I told him they were both for Dima, and that his birthday is next month. He didn't seem put out or upset at all, just excited for Dima and his presents. Dima will be getting a few more presents from family over the next few weeks, and a couple of those times Zhenya will also be getting presents in anticipation of his birthday in July--3 weeks from Thursday!

We have been so blessed with the boys' attachment to us. Their pediatrician did not anticipate us having problems since the boys had always been together and were attached to each other. Apparently it's only important that attachment to someone occur early in life; it doesn't necessarily need to be a caregiver. We still like to do a few things that encourage attachment, and along those lines I recently added something to our nighttime routine. After we've read books and their Bibles, one of them goes to the bathroom and the other sits on my lap. I snuggle him like a baby and both of the boys love it! When I'm holding them like that, I use that time to talk to them about being their Mama forever, and that Papa is their papa forever, and so on. Now they both like to say "Mama ever ever ever?" And I say "Yes, I am your Mama forever and ever and ever." They will both ask every once in a while, even in the middle of the day, and sometimes when I pick Zhenya up from school and he gets in the car he announces it: "Mama ever ever ever!" with a big smile on his face. :) I know they don't understand the concept of time, and "forever", but as my mom said, they understand the feeling.

For those of you who are pre- or post-adoptive parents, some of you may be wondering about my attachment. :) Did I immediately attach to the boys? No. In my opinion, it's nearly impossible to attach to someone you've just met. I felt compassion, and I liked them, but I didn't feel an attachment to them. My attachment to them has grown as I have cared for them and learned about them and their personalities, and as we have shared experiences together, good and bad. Fortunately or unfortunately, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel as a parent. ;) I know that I love the boys, and I know that my love for them grows every day. My perspective is to take things day-by-day and trust God to knit our hearts together as a family more each day.