Monday, January 11, 2010

Back to school

It was a rough first day back after being off for 4 days. Apparently Emily and Danielle had major listening issues today. The boys did better than the girls but still not great. I think part of it is that they did school with me (which actually went really well on Friday) and they're allowed to get away with a lot more at school...including not doing work. That doesn't fly at home and it's easier to nip it in the bud here--and easier to give consequences since I only have 4 kids and I can send the ones that finish to play while the ones who aren't done can keep working. That's just not an option in a regular classroom.

We try to follow-up at home to reinforce the expectations at school, but often we aren't told about problems until they've been going on for awhile. And sometimes the school doesn't think things are problems, even though we see them that way. Sigh.

One day at a time. Hopefully tomorrow is a better one at school. :)


Diana said...

We're just the opposite around here. This sounds terrible, but we don't really give a rip about what happens at school, unless the TEACHERS are committing gross rule violations (which has happened on more than one occasion) or if what's happening there starts spilling over in to home life. We have a pretty stern meeting at the beginning of the year with the teachers and we tell them flat out if they heed our warnings, the kids will do just fine and will be perfect little angels. If they don't heed the warnings, disaster will certainly result. Therefore, we don't consequence at all for issues at school. If the school wants to do it, that's fine. If the kids do their work, great. If they don't, the school can deal with it...and if my kids freak out at school, I can guarantee its because the SCHOOL isn't doing something right...and therefore, it's the SCHOOL that gets in trouble, not my kids. Such is the backwards thinking life of therapeutic/attachment parenting. :-)

To those who aren't familar with attachment parenting, I know this sounds like I'm being horribly coddling and permissive of my kids. "Afterall, kids need to be taught responsibility, right?" In due time, I suppose. But right now, it isn't the most important thing they need to learn. I'm not coddling my kids or allowing them go get away with anything. It has a lot more to do with understanding attachment and WHY my kids are doing what they're doing and why they're acting out...and every single time there's been a problem at school, it is the SCHOOL who needs to change their behavior, not my kids. I also refuse to allow the school to interfere with attachment at home. And when they cross that line, I let them know about it :-).

Oh my word, Christine Mores wrote the most awesome post on this whole subject of attachment (and indirectly school as well) yesterday. In fact, she knocked the ball right out of the park and scored a double home run with this one. (That post title is a quote out of an attachment parenting book, by the way.)

If you don't already read her blog, I highly recommend doing so. She's seriously one of the most awesome moms on the planet.

Anyway, I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong. You're not. In fact, you're also one of the more awesome moms I know! I'm just stating a different point of view on dealing with the schools - which has got to be one of THE most frustrating jobs on the planet! Hang in there and keep at it...and keep on the school, too!

Courtney said...

In our case it's just normal kid behavior with testing boundaries. I'm thankful that that's ALL it is, really. :) And quite often I think the school lets our kids get away with more because they feel sorry for them or think they need to give them more leeway because of their backgrounds. That does NOT help at all!