Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Bedtime

When the girls came home we didn't have any comforters for their beds, but it was warm so it didn't matter since all of the kids were just sleeping with sheets. When it started to turn cool at night, we put the boys' comforters on the girls' beds and used blankets they already had on the boys' beds. We finally found some comforters we liked this past weekend at Target for the boys.

Last night as we were putting the boys to bed I put one of the new comforters on Alex's bed then asked him if he also wanted a blanket to go on top. He wanted his blue and white crocheted blanket. He asked me who had made his blanket and I told him great-grandma Mary. Who made the yellow blanket? Micah and Tiffany. Who made the train blanket? Grandma. Who made the [Tim's Curious] George blanket? Grandma.

Why did they make blankets Mama? They want us to be warm? Yes.

He got a huge grin on his face and gave me a big hug. There are still so many areas he struggles, and his self-confidence and self-worth are two of those areas. It baffles him to think that someone would want him to be warm. No one cared if he was warm the first five years of his life...what has changed??

Slowly but surely we are chipping away at the hurt he has from his first few years without us. Years of feeling alone and without worth.

Alex is not a material child--it is not the blankets that he is interested in. But the blankets represent that someone loves him enough to provide warmth and safety for him...and the blankets represent that there are now many people who love him and want to make sure he is safe and warm.

Sleep tight, my son, wrapped in the warmth of love and knowing you are home.

8 comments:

Diana said...

My Matthew does the same thing, and does it quite often, too. It is about trying to understand WHY people would do nice things for him, especially when he knows he spends a great deal of time, effort, and energy trying to push them away. Sometimes it's more than he can take in.

It's a joyously heartbreaking thing to watch, isn't it? Joyous that they are finally getting it, heartbreaking that they have to work so hard to understand it and don't get to it take for granted like most kids do.

his wife, their mama said...

I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. It is so beautiful to hear of him being able to see, with something as simple as a blanket, all the love that you and your family have to offer him.
Hugs to you Courtney:)

E said...

This completely warms my heart. I am so glad Alex now has so many people who want him to be warm.

Tina said...

Yup. The last sentence got me. What a great post that helps us understand their past and how they interpret their present. Thanks for sharing!

Jane said...

Courtney, that is a heartwarming story that is one of the examples of how wonderful it is that we have the opportunity to make a difference in these little lives

Pi Princess said...

Thank you for sharing. I got a little teary reading this and I am so glad that he is feeling all the love that so many people have for him.

Katie said...

What a lovely truth. A bit heartbreaking that his childlike joy is at least in part brought about by the lack of parent-love in his first years... but how wonderful to know he is safe & loved now.

Christine said...

Sweet conversation. Those blankets will be cherished for years to come.